IN ALL ERNESTNESS

I have prided myself in the fact that I cannot recollect a time when I had a true nightmare. I just haven’t been one to be scared of the dark or wake up in terror at a dream I had or anythings else of the such. In fact, as a kid I always wanted my room pitch black and if any light came in I would stuff a pillow if front of the crack under the door.

I did cause my sister to have a few nightmares. As a little brother I felt it my duty to do so. She was the opposite of me. I think she had a nightmare every night. When she was in high school and I was in middle school she would still get scared and come and sleep in my room. I would sometimes sneak out of my window and go to hers and make shadows or noises to scare her. Once I even went as far as to go in her room while she was asleep and whisper stuff into her ear. She woke up terrified and swore to my parents she even felt the breath on her face. (Connie, if you happen to read this, I am sorry…I still think it’s funny but I am sorry for the trauma I caused you)

Last night I had an experience I would consider a nightmare. The most horrifying dream I can remember having. Nobody was trying to kill me. There were no monsters, boogie-men, or Freddy Kruger, but it was horrific just the same. I don’t even know what would have caused me to have this dream. I dreamed my son died. Oh my gosh! I was crushed. It was so realistic. I actually thought it was going on. It was the most intense, most agonizing sense of pain, anguish, despair, and loss that I could imagine! The emotions, the lack of thought or reason, it was all so vivid and real. I can’t really even describe it.

I have never before been so happy to wake up in my life! If you are a parent out there who has lost a child I grieve for you and pray for you. I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through what I went through and feel what I felt without being able to wake up and it be over. What I felt probably doesn’t even do justice to what you have felt. My heart goes out to you an I am truly sorry for your loss.

…Another story…my wife went out to run this morning and I followed her out to the garage when I saw an old unmarked white van drive by with 2 guys in it. I didn’t think about it too much at first but as I went back inside I began to get this really weird feeling. It was an uncomfortable feeling of “what if those guys grab my wife and do something horrible to her?” I tried to shake it off thinking I was just being paranoid but I couldn’t. I walked to the end of the driveway and looked to where the circle is that she runs around and waited for a while and couldn’t see her. My nervousness grew a little more as my imagination began to take off in my head. As I was waiting still trying to see her the white van drove back by. It slowed down as it passed and the two guys looked at me, then at each other and kept going. I recorded their license plate in my phone (just in case) and decided I would go look for her. I jumped into the car and at first couldn’t find her…then I did. What another sigh of relief! When I told her why I came looking for her she thought I was crazy and I realized I was just paranoid…but hey, if something would’ve happened my actions wouldn’t have seemed so foolish.

Maybe my paranoia was a result of my dream…maybe both were a result of watching too much 48 Hours Mystery…