IN ALL ERNESTNESS


Maybe I shouldnt share this but oh well…
March 30, 2010, 9:57 pm
Filed under: family, friends, justice, life, love, ministry, missions, people, prayer, religion, whatever

Allow me to be vulnerable for a moment. I probably shouldn’t, but then again, maybe I should…Either way here it goes.  I have a passion and a desire to change the world for Christ, to make a difference and be a part of something bigger than myself. No surprise huh? I recently shared that with you all. The truth is that as much as that is true I have allowed road blocks such as fear and doubt and excuses to keep from doing just that. About 3 years ago I experienced something in ministry that more than I would ever like to admit shook me spiritually…it shook my confidence, it shook my thoughts, and more…I will not go into details as they are not as important as to the result. This time should have been the moment that I rose up and took advantage of the situation and ran after all of my dreams and my desires…It should have been my greatest moment spiritually…instead, it was quite the contrary. Sure I went after some things and pursued some of the things I wanted to do ministry wise and for God but with a broken confidence and a fear that I just didnt measure up to what I needed to be. There were others already doing some of the things who were better than me…why would I be used instead of them. ..so on…the typical things…the things I would so many times counsel others about…

I would look at others who were doing some really cool things and ask myself, “Why can they do it and you not?” The true answer to that is there is no reason. God can use me and wants to use me just as much as the next person but I would run excuses like, “Its the school the went to and the contacts they were able to make due to that” or it was this reason or that reason…there was always an excuse. The saddest part of all? I was allowing myself to believe those excuses. Only recently have I allowed myself to wake up to the fact that the things I am saying to you are true. My wife has even questioned me about it in the past and I would deny it, offer her some excuses and would get upset and defensive that she would even suggest such a thing…the truth is she was right. I am sorry that it took me this long to allow myself to see it for what it is. How she puts up with me or has had the patience she has had with me I do not know.

I dont know why i am even telling you this now. Once again, I probably shouldn’t except for there may be some of you in the same position battling the same thing. I also would ask for accountability in these areas…fell free, in fact I ask you to question me on what I am doing to achieve my dreams and to follow after what I feel God wants me to do.  Ask me if I have been allowing fear, doubt, and or excuses get in my way…and if I offer you a lame excuse, find me and kick me really hard.

With all of this in mind I want to to share something with you today…a peak at my heart. I recently asked on Twitter and Facebook , “if money were not an concern, what would you want to do with your life?” In asking that I had to ask myself the same question….

I recently had a friend ask how they could pray for us. I think the answer I gave them is also the answer to my question…here is my response…

Instead of out right answering that let me just share my heart with you once again. My desire/dream is to mobilize todays youth and young people to make a difference in their world, at home and abroad. There are so many injustices such as unclean water, orphans, human trafficking, starvation, extreme poverty, etc that are occurring all across the globe. Not to mention the spiritual state the majority of this world is in. I truly believe that God mandates us as Christians to fight these injustices (Isaiah 1:17) as well as share the love of Christ to others. The problem I see is that the church as a whole ends up playing church more than being the church. We show up on Sundays and occasionally on Wednesdays and we pay our tithes and sometimes missions and think we are doing pretty good. We plan all kinds of fun activities and events, we have all kinds of programs to get involved in but our Christian lives must be more than that, they must go beyond that. We spend a lot of time and effort trying to be “better Christians” when we need to be learning how to love like Christ and what that looks like. I believe that when we truly love God and love people then we will be better Christians and all the other stuff falls into place.

Anyway, most young people I have met want to change the world. They want to make a difference. They just dont know how or they, like many of us, allow fear or doubt to dash our dreams. They are passionate, they are resourceful, they are not all hung up on traditions and rituals, and they are more real than most of us “older folk” will ever be. I truly believe that if we can get them in on this; if we can mobilize them and give them chances to make a difference and create change that not only will they forever be changed but will change others which can ultimately change the future.

Scripture talks of a spiritual revival; a great awakening…well, it has to start somewhere and my money is on the youth of this world.

All that said, I have allowed fear, doubt, and a multitude of excuses to keep me from pursuing my dream to reach this generation of young people in this way. I am tired of my life being ran by fear, doubt, and excuses, so if you want to know how you can most pray for us, I would say this is it.

Thank you for being a friend and an advocate. You are much loved.

Blessings,

Ernest

For too long I have allowed walls to block me from pursuing the things in life that truly make me tick…the things that I am truly passionate about and care about. Some of those walls (if not most) were built by me…Well, I am tired of the walls, I am tired of the fear, I am tired of the excuses that have far too long kept me from doing the things I really want to do…

Today is the day I take the sledgehammer to those walls…today is the day I strap back on those running shoes and chase after the things I am passionate about…Today is the day I allow the real Ernest, the Ernest that God intended for me to be, to be free to pursue the desires that God has placed in my heart…

I dont know about you but I really do want to make a difference. I really do want to create change. I really do want to be a part of something bigger than myself. I want to do more than make a living…I want to live the life God intended for me to live. The dangerous, passionate, adventure filed life of a true Christ follower that follows his Rabbi so closely that he gets covered in the dust from his feet…

We all can make a difference, we all can create change, we all can be a part of something bigger than ourselves…Most of us won’t…but some will. I want to be the some that will.

I ask that you hold me accountable…because today is the day, but tomorrow has to be the day too…and the day after that…and the day after that…

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2 Comments so far
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It sounds to me like you are maybe wanting to start a group of youth or young adults together that do things to make a difference in this world?? Why dont you just do it? I mean it could start off simple like reading to the blind, bringing flower to nurses at MD Anderson childrens unit, etc. Simple acts of kindness that can eventually grow into providing clean water in Haiti. I think there are many people that have that passion of doing for others they just dont know where to start. Just an idea.

Comment by bridget smith

Ernest, Wow and thank you for your honesty. The greatest thing is that God continues to you us even in our struggles. I think it was 3 years ago when you and Debra took the summer to travel with us and then after that the random emails I sent… you both really pushed me to move forward. Honestly I can thank you for where I am today. You made a difference in me and Im praying to make a difference to others as well. Praying for you.

Comment by Auston Copeland




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